Agony Extraordinaire: Nine Hammers

Today it was my pleasure to check out the latest offering from the minions at the Sufferlandrian Ministry of Educational Cycling and Agony.  Although it has been banned by the United Nations as an inhumane path, the Nine Hammers proves to be an excellent addition to the Sufferfest repertoire mixing in Threshold and Vo2 Max efforts with some simply brilliant high-def descends down from the top of the valley of the Nine Hammers.  Glory and Fame awaits all who can manage to make it through and the promise from the ministry is that your name will be carved in the lava flowing from Mt. Sufferlandria.

Rite of passage or simply one more in the endless list of tasks set out for you by the incensed Grunter vonAgony, no one is sure.  One thing is for certain, though, for the hour that you are in the hands of the team at Sufferfest, you will SUFFER.... and why, you ask?  Well for starters, beach bikes and baskests are for sunday afternoon baguettes and cheese... but, ultimately it is all about: 

IWBMATTKYT.  

So enough glad-handing and nice-nice.... let's get into this thing a look at all there is to the latest intallement from the people at Sufferfest.

As you are aware, I am working my way through all of the Sufferefest videos and Tri-Girl an I have just finished Revolver which would be the equivalent of about 1/2 way through their fantastic set of videos, so I am in no way a great source to comment on the graphics and the like, as they are quite different than what I am used to; however, as the years go by since their original offering of "Angels" which is  also being re-released with Nine Hammers with some updates (check the website for specifics) I am consistently impressed with the experience that these videos have to offer.

 So for me, I am always wondering what is in store for my morning?  Nothing can be clearer than the screen shot above.  It is agony extraordinaire.   Designed by Neal Henderson of Apex Coaching, this video takes no prisoners as it focuses on some serious VO2 MAX work combined with threshold efforts.

In the middle of 3:00 straight minutes of agony Grunter vonAgony shows up and "nails' you with a sledge.... you take the "pounding" with raw determination a grit.

This is exactly the leg numbing, fast spinning, breath shortening, eye popping, high definition agony that we have come to expect when we hit our trainers and look to the people at Sufferfest for guidance.  From the very beginning you get this sense that you are out for a really demeaning demanding ride.  We are all used to efforts involved in these videos...  20  minutes of intense climbing in The Hunted to the TT efforts of The Long Scream.  Here in Nine Hammers, though, you are really pushing the envelope of what you can take on a bike.  In an interesting twist of perception, you give so much in the VO2 MAX efforts, that you actually start to tolerate the threshold work.

... and what does the minister want?  He wants you to hit back and hit hard.

Then there's the "recovery" time.  This is simply nothing more than a hallucinated fancy that drifts by with luxurious visages of descents down Ventoux.  Lush and full of twitching corners and epic descents, these little vingettes drift by at such a rapid rate that you barley have enough time to get your breathing in control before that fucking gun goes off again and you are desperately trying to get your gearing right and your cadence strong.

I loved it.  You'll love it. It's hard work that you know will pay huge dividends come outdoor season.

Have a look.... here is the official preview:

Lush HD combined with moments of sheer terror

If I was to look at this particular video with a jaundiced eye and think a little critically, I might ask where the minions of Sufferlandria stand on cycling education.  This video is awesome; to that there is no doubt.  However, it could be just that much better if there was some thought to the realities of the  indoor rider.  Not all of us are ICU material.  At the start there is simply a lot of cadence and tempo changes, and it seemed that by the time you look down and figure our the gear ratio to get to 95 CAD at 8.0, the gun goes off and there is another change.   After some time, you figure out that a lot of this is accomplished by staying in the same gear and simply changing your cadence.  For my two cents, it really would have been nice to know that right at the start. I know its picky, but it was a bit of a bone of contention as I rode through the session.

Preidler encourages you to get in there and bridge that gap.

For time and money, I cannot think of a better more convenient way to train in the winter.  It's fantastic to be a member of a team and to meet with your buddies on the weekend, but when that scenario is simply impossible, these videos from Sufferfest, and Nine Hammers is no exception, take your mindless riding while you ogle your latest series on Netflix to a whole new level. And I have no doubt that when the snow is gone towards the end of  May and we return to the roads and trails to get our legs back, we will be strangely surprised at just how nimble our feet have become and how agile our lungs are as we push our suffering to a whole new level.

Here's my data:

For those of you faint of heart... thank you so much for reading and end your journey with me here. However if you have a bit of an iron stomach....... read on.

Don't say I didn't warn you...

I mean it....

So I suffered and put myself to the absolute test and came away with my name etched in the lava of Mt. Sufferlandria and I have the sweat equity to prove it.  

My head-band at the end of Nine Hammers.